17 replies to this topic Post Order

[Sammajoor]

Feel free to add your own.....

Here are mine..



1. Never indicate - it gives away your next move. A real south African driver never uses indicators.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and a BMW, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking should be as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary, given only as a guideline. They are especially NOT applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That's why it's called 'rush hour....'
8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that the South African driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.
10. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high-speed slalom driver thanks to the government, placing holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.
12. Remember that the goal of every South African driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principle that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.

[djvr]

14 Dont wait in the long queue to get to the robot. Pass on the left on the untarred shoulder and push in front. Time is money and you cant waist any time in long queues

[Bateleur1]

As far as most traffic departments are concenrned there is only two things you don't do in this country:

1) Don't speed
2) Don't park illegally

Other than that it is open season on the roads. Do what you want. The traffic act is just there for eye candy. Nobody knows whats really written in there.

[eccentric1]

A few Nigerian ones,

If the traffic is too heavy, cross to the other lane and drive there
Do not look left or right when crosing an intersection. Just go.
Put your hand out of the window and give a moffie wave, then you can do anything
If your car breaks down you leave it right in the middle of the road.
Drain the oil right there on the new asphalt when you service the car.
If a cop pulls you over phone your buddy high up in government. The cop loses his job.

[DJR]

14. Always try to pass within 5 nanometers from cyclists, they like the adrenaline rush and will thank you profusely with a friendly finger sign.

[Delgado]

"....because I can!!"

[Minion]

15. The left three lanes of a five lane highway should only be used in the most dire of circumstances. The right two lanes is where everything's happening.
16. The right to drive in the right hand lane is absolute. If you're doing 115km/h you should never move over, no matter how clear the road ahead and no matter how long the queue of cars behind.
17. The 100 sign stuck on the back of most taxis is not a speed limit, it's a passenger capacity.

[Caerus]

eccentric1, on 07 February 2012 - 07:10 , said:

A few Nigerian ones,

If the traffic is too heavy, cross to the other lane and drive there
Do not look left or right when crosing an intersection. Just go.
Put your hand out of the window and give a moffie wave, then you can do anything
If your car breaks down you leave it right in the middle of the road.
Drain the oil right there on the new asphalt when you service the car.
If a cop pulls you over phone your buddy high up in government. The cop loses his job.

Seems its the same down here.

[THE BLOODY AGENT]

RULES FOR DRIVING IN RSA................................. NONE, JUST DO AS YOU PLEASE. the rest of africa does it so we can too.

[TNT1]

Sammajoor, on 07 February 2012 - 05:43 , said:

Feel free to add your own.....

Here are mine..



1. Never indicate - it gives away your next move. A real south African driver never uses indicators.

may I add a caveat?

You are allowed to indicate, but you must then immediately complete your manoeuvre without checking to see if it is safe to do so.

[Minion]

TNT1, on 07 February 2012 - 07:49 , said:

You are allowed to indicate, but you must then immediately complete your manoeuvre without checking to see if it is safe to do so.

No, no, no, you've got it wrong. You may only indicate after starting your manoeuvre, or preferably once it's finished.

[DJR]

TNT1, on 07 February 2012 - 07:49 , said:

may I add a caveat?

You are allowed to indicate, but you must then immediately complete your manoeuvre without checking to see if it is safe to do so.

Or turn into the opposite direction from that indicated, or not turn at all!

[geecee]

slam on brakes then indicate that you are turning

[Pain or Shine]

Keep one eye on the GPS and one on the spelling of your sms.. if you don't you won't make any sense in a place you were not intending arriving. Makes perfect sense..

oh, it works better in an automatic but I see it can be done in a manual, but rather leave it to the pros, they can do their make-up too and that puts them waay out of my league!

Edited by Pain or Shine, 07 February 2012 - 08:00 .

[Sammajoor]

Edman, on 07 February 2012 - 07:52 , said:

No, no, no, you've got it wrong. You may only indicate after starting your manoeuvre, or preferably once it's finished.

Where is the like button

[Ricky Bobby]

• When you drink and drive don't get caught. If you do get caught please submit a R one hundred form to your nearest traffic official; sometimes required to be completed in duplicate.
  
• Unroadworthy & overloaded vehicles are required to pass at high speed to the right of a roadworthy vehicle pulled over by traffic officials for a spot fine.